I have begun to find that the busier I am, and the more productive, the better I seem to feel. Whether I’m planting seeds, tilling the garden beds, feeding the chickens bananas out of my hand, or even doing laundry or dishes, I begin to feel the stress of everyday life start to wash away and a sense of usefulness and purpose begin to take its place. It is so hard to maintain perspective during the days and weeks that feel work-centric. I feel like a hamster in a wheel, really. But this week has started showing me that there is so much more to life than just work and making money.
I enjoy the sense of stewardship I have begun to develop in this place. I can pick up little responsibilities here and there, and I feel like I belong. This is home, finally. Although I still feel compelled toward the future, driven by my deeply ingrained goal-driven nature, I feel settled for the time being. No more spinning off in random directions. That is how I feel today, anyway.
Today we let the little chicks run around the yard for a good long time. They are getting so adventurous! Me being the overprotective (and slightly paranoid) mama that I am, I got a little anxious after a while and Blaise agreed to put them in a big outdoor cage. They could still scratch around in the dirt and feel the sun and the air outside, but they had much less room to roam. This made me feel a little more secure, although I’m sure the chicks did not appreciate this helicopter-parent-esque move on my part.
We also planted a great deal of sunflower seeds today. Blaise had a bunch of seeds left over from his last crop of sunflowers, so we soaked those in water for a day, drained and rinsed them, and buried them in several strategic places around the yard.
Once again, I am starting to feel grateful for the way my life is turning out day by day. Not to be goopy or anything, but Blaise is a pretty wonderful partner and boyfriend. I couldn’t be more lucky to have him in my life! I feel closer to my family than ever, I feel stronger, more enthusiastic, and filled with optimism about the future. This is good. This is very good.
For now, I will content myself with a little beverage concocted by dear Blaise himself. Perhaps I’ll even open up a book! Some good music is playing and I feel… happy.