Sunflowers

I have begun to find that the busier I am, and the more productive, the better I seem to feel. Whether I’m planting seeds, tilling the garden beds, feeding the chickens bananas out of my hand, or even doing laundry or dishes, I begin to feel the stress of everyday life start to wash away and a sense of usefulness and purpose begin to take its place. It is so hard to maintain perspective during the days and weeks that feel work-centric. I feel like a hamster in a wheel, really. But this week has started showing me that there is so much more to life than just work and making money.

I enjoy the sense of stewardship I have begun to develop in this place. I can pick up little responsibilities here and there, and I feel like I belong. This is home, finally. Although I still feel compelled toward the future, driven by my deeply ingrained goal-driven nature, I feel settled for the time being. No more spinning off in random directions. That is how I feel today, anyway.

Today we let the little chicks run around the yard for a good long time. They are getting so adventurous! Me being the overprotective (and slightly paranoid) mama that I am, I got a little anxious after a while and Blaise agreed to put them in a big outdoor cage. They could still scratch around in the dirt and feel the sun and the air outside, but they had much less room to roam. This made me feel a little more secure, although I’m sure the chicks did not appreciate this helicopter-parent-esque move on my part.

We also planted a great deal of sunflower seeds today. Blaise had a bunch of seeds left over from his last crop of sunflowers, so we soaked those in water for a day, drained and rinsed them, and buried them in several strategic places around the yard.

These will be the typical giant yellow sunflowers. Y’know, the ones that shoot up to impossible heights and grow flowers so heavy that after a time they begin to droop. I can’t wait to see them!

On the other hand, these smaller, dark seeds will become Dwarf Red sunflowers. They will still be tall, but much shorter than the giant yellow ones. We also planted more of these than any other.

Here is a very small part of the left hand side of our walkway. In the foremost plot we placed two rows of dwarf red sunflowers, and in the bed closer to the car we will put in some carrots.

Once again, I am starting to feel grateful for the way my life is turning out day by day. Not to be goopy or anything, but Blaise is a pretty wonderful partner and boyfriend. I couldn’t be more lucky to have him in my life! I feel closer to my family than ever, I feel stronger, more enthusiastic, and filled with optimism about the future. This is good. This is very good.

For now, I will content myself with a little beverage concocted by dear Blaise himself. Perhaps I’ll even open up a book! Some good music is playing and I feel… happy.

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